A Hug in Book Form: A Heartfelt Review of I Can’t Believe They’re Gone by Karen Brough

Introduction: A Book That Holds Your Hand Through Grief

Grief is a heavy, confusing emotion—especially for children who may not yet have the words to express their pain. I Can’t Believe They’re Gone: A kid’s grief book that hugs, helps, and gives hope by Karen Brough is a tender, beautifully crafted book that does exactly what its subtitle promises: it hugs, helps, and gives hope.

As someone who has both experienced loss and worked with grieving children, I was deeply moved by how Brough balances raw emotion with gentle reassurance. This isn’t just a book—it’s a companion for young readers navigating the stormy seas of grief. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or counselor looking for a resource to help a grieving child, or simply someone seeking a touching read, this book delivers.

Plot Summary: A Journey Through Loss and Healing

I Can’t Believe They’re Gone follows a child’s experience of losing a loved one, capturing the whirlwind of emotions—shock, sadness, anger, and eventual acceptance—that accompany grief. While the book doesn’t follow a traditional narrative with characters and plot twists, it instead serves as a guided emotional journey.

Through simple yet profound text and expressive illustrations, Brough walks the reader through the stages of grief in a way that feels organic and age-appropriate. The book doesn’t shy away from the pain of loss but also doesn’t leave the reader drowning in sorrow. Instead, it offers gentle prompts, affirmations, and coping mechanisms, making it an interactive experience rather than just a passive read.

Character Analysis & Emotional Depth

Since this is more of a therapeutic guide than a storybook, the “character” here is the grieving child—a stand-in for any young reader experiencing loss. Brough’s genius lies in how she universalizes grief while leaving room for personal reflection.

The child’s voice in the book feels authentic, never patronizing. Their emotions are validated, whether it’s confusion (“Why did they have to leave?”), anger (“It’s not fair!”), or deep sadness (“I miss them so much”). The book also subtly introduces the idea of continuing bonds—ways to remember and honor the loved one without being overwhelmed by sorrow.

Writing Style & Narrative Technique: Simple Yet Profound

Brough’s writing is deceptively simple. She uses short, direct sentences that pack an emotional punch, making the book accessible to even very young readers. The language is warm and conversational, as if a caring adult is sitting beside the child, guiding them through their feelings.

What stands out most is the book’s interactive approach. It doesn’t just tell the child how to feel—it asks questions, encourages drawing or writing, and provides space for the child to process their emotions. This makes it an excellent tool for parents and therapists to use in discussions about grief.

Themes & Deeper Meanings: More Than Just a Grief Book

At its core, I Can’t Believe They’re Gone is about:

  • Validation – It reassures children that their feelings are normal.
  • Memory & Legacy – It teaches that love doesn’t disappear with death.
  • Hope – It gently leads the reader toward healing without rushing them.

One of the most powerful themes is permission to grieve. Society often expects children to “move on” quickly, but this book gives them the freedom to feel what they feel, whether that’s sadness, anger, or even moments of happiness.

Personal Reading Experience: Why This Book Stays With You

Reading this book, I found myself tearing up—not just from sadness, but from the sheer kindness of it. As someone who lost a grandparent as a child, I remember how isolating grief felt. Books like this didn’t exist for me then, and I can’t help but think how much it would have helped.

What struck me most was how normalizing it is. Grief can make kids (and adults) feel like they’re “broken,” but Brough’s words remind them: You’re not alone. Your feelings matter.

Comparison to Other Grief Books for Children

Compared to other children’s grief books like The Invisible String by Patrice Karst or The Memory Box by Joanna Rowland, I Can’t Believe They’re Gone stands out for its interactive, workbook-like approach. While other books tell stories about loss, Brough’s book engages the child directly, making it more of a hands-on healing tool.

That said, it pairs wonderfully with narrative-driven books, offering a complementary approach that blends emotional storytelling with practical coping strategies.

Strengths & Minor Weaknesses

Strengths:

✅ Accessible & Engaging – Perfect for kids who struggle to articulate their grief.
✅ Interactive Elements – Encourages active participation, making healing tangible.
✅ Gentle Yet Honest – Doesn’t sugarcoat loss but doesn’t leave readers hopeless.
✅ Beautiful Illustrations – The artwork enhances the emotional resonance.

Minor Weaknesses:

❌ May Need Adult Guidance – Very young kids might need help with some concepts.
❌ Not a Standalone Story – If you’re looking for a traditional narrative, this isn’t it.

Who Should Read This Book?

This book is ideal for:

  • Children ages 4-10 dealing with loss.
  • Parents, teachers, or counselors looking for grief resources.
  • Adults who want to better understand childhood grief.

It’s especially helpful for kids who:

  • Struggle to express their emotions.
  • Need reassurance that their feelings are normal.
  • Would benefit from a structured yet gentle way to process grief.

Memorable Quotes & Passages

A few lines that lingered with me:

“It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to miss them so much it hurts.”

“Even though they’re gone, love stays. Love doesn’t end.”

These simple yet profound statements capture the essence of the book—acknowledging pain while offering comfort.

Final Thoughts: A Must-Have for Grieving Hearts

I Can’t Believe They’re Gone is more than a book—it’s a lifeline for children navigating loss. Karen Brough has created something truly special: a resource that doesn’t just explain grief but walks alongside the grieving child, offering hugs in the form of words.

If you know a child struggling with loss, this book could be the gentle guide they need. And if you’re an adult who works with kids, it’s an invaluable tool to help them heal.

🔗 Get the Book: Amazon

Discussion Questions for Readers:

  • How do you think interactive books help children process grief better than traditional stories?
  • What’s a memory or ritual that helps you remember a loved one?
  • If you’ve read other grief books for kids, how does this one compare?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! 💙

Get this book on Amazon

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