A Must-Read Guide to Healthy Friendships: The Not-So-Friendly Friend by Christina Furnival

Introduction: Why This Book Matters

Friendships are supposed to be sources of joy, support, and connection—but what happens when a friendship becomes toxic? Christina Furnival’s The Not-So-Friendly Friend: How To Set Boundaries for Healthy Friendships is a powerful, accessible guide that helps children (and even adults) navigate the complexities of relationships with confidence.

Blending storytelling with practical advice, Furnival crafts a book that is both engaging and deeply instructive. Whether you’re a parent looking to teach your child about boundaries, an educator fostering social-emotional learning, or an adult reflecting on your own friendships, this book offers invaluable lessons.

In this comprehensive review, I’ll break down why The Not-So-Friendly Friend stands out, exploring its structure, themes, and emotional impact.

Plot Summary: A Story of Boundaries and Empowerment

The Not-So-Friendly Friend follows a young girl who encounters a classmate who isn’t always kind—sometimes they play nicely, but other times they exclude, tease, or demand control. The protagonist struggles with confusion and hurt, unsure how to respond.

Through gentle guidance (both from the narrative and the accompanying workbook-style reflections), the book teaches children how to recognize unhealthy behaviors, assert their boundaries, and cultivate friendships that feel safe and respectful. Without giving away too much, the resolution is empowering, showing that setting boundaries doesn’t mean losing friendships—it means making them healthier.

Character Analysis: Relatable and Growth-Oriented

The protagonist is a relatable figure—many children (and adults) will see themselves in her hesitation and self-doubt. Her emotional journey—from confusion to empowerment—is handled with care, making her growth feel authentic.

The “not-so-friendly friend” is also well-crafted. They aren’t a villain but a flawed individual whose behavior stems from their own struggles. This nuanced portrayal avoids demonization, instead encouraging empathy while reinforcing the importance of self-respect.

Writing Style & Narrative Technique: Engaging and Educational

Furnival’s writing is clear, warm, and perfectly suited for young readers. The book balances storytelling with direct lessons, ensuring that the message isn’t lost in metaphor. The illustrations (by Katie Dwyer) enhance the narrative, making emotions and scenarios visually accessible.

What sets this book apart is its interactive approach. It includes discussion questions and exercises, making it a fantastic tool for parents, teachers, and therapists. The blend of narrative and workbook elements ensures that the lessons stick.

Themes & Deeper Meanings: More Than Just a Kids’ Book

1. The Importance of Boundaries

The core message is clear: healthy friendships require boundaries. The book normalizes the discomfort of saying “no” while reinforcing that real friends respect limits.

2. Emotional Intelligence & Self-Worth

Children learn to identify their feelings and trust their instincts—a skill many adults still struggle with! The book validates emotions rather than dismissing them.

3. Conflict Resolution Without Guilt

Unlike some children’s books that preach endless kindness at the expense of self-respect, this one teaches assertiveness without aggression.

Personal Reading Experience: Why It Resonated

As someone who struggled with boundary-setting well into adulthood, I found myself wishing I’d had this book as a child. The scenarios are universal—who hasn’t dealt with a friend who’s sometimes nice and sometimes hurtful?

The exercises prompted meaningful conversations with my own kids. One poignant moment was when my daughter said, “Oh! So I don’t have to play with someone if they’re mean?” That simple realization—that she had agency—was powerful.

Comparison to Other Books in the Genre

Many children’s books address bullying or kindness (Enemy Pie, My Mouth Is a Volcano), but few focus specifically on the gray area of “frenemies”—relationships that aren’t outright abusive but still feel unhealthy.

Compared to Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon (which emphasizes self-confidence) or The Invisible Boy (about inclusion), The Not-So-Friendly Friend fills a unique niche by teaching discernment in relationships.

Strengths & Minor Weaknesses

Strengths:

✅ Practical & actionable – Not just theory, but real tools for kids.
✅ Nuanced portrayal – Avoids black-and-white thinking about “good” and “bad” friends.
✅ Engaging format – Story + exercises = deeper learning.

Weaknesses:

❌ May require adult guidance – Younger kids might need help with the exercises.
❌ Limited diversity in some editions – Could benefit from more inclusive representation.

Who Should Read This Book?

  • Parents of kids aged 5-10 navigating friendships.
  • Teachers & counselors looking for SEL (social-emotional learning) resources.
  • Adults reflecting on their own boundary-setting struggles!

Memorable Quotes

“You get to decide how others treat you.”
“A true friend respects your feelings and your boundaries.”

These lines distill the book’s wisdom into simple, impactful truths.

Final Verdict: A Book Every Child (and Adult) Needs

The Not-So-Friendly Friend is more than a children’s book—it’s a blueprint for healthy relationships. By teaching kids to advocate for themselves with kindness and confidence, Christina Furnival gives them a gift that will last a lifetime.

🔗 Get the Book: Amazon

Discussion Questions for Readers:

  • Did you have a “not-so-friendly friend” growing up? How did you handle it?
  • How do you teach boundaries to the kids in your life?
  • What’s one friendship lesson you wish you’d learned earlier?

Let’s chat in the comments! 📚💬

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