Book Review: When I Go to Church, I Belong: Finding My Place in God's Family as a Child with Special Needs
When I Go to Church, I Belong: A Heartfelt Review of Elrena Evans’ Must-Read for Families of Children with Special Needs
Introduction: A Book That Speaks to the Heart
Imagine walking into a church with your child, only to feel the weight of stares, the discomfort of exclusion, or the struggle to find a place where your family truly fits. For many parents of children with special needs, this is an all-too-familiar experience. Elrena Evans’ When I Go to Church, I Belong: Finding My Place in God’s Family as a Child with Special Needs is a tender, insightful, and deeply necessary book that addresses this very struggle.
Evans, a mother of children with special needs herself, writes with both personal experience and theological depth, creating a work that is as comforting as it is challenging. Whether you’re a parent, church leader, or simply someone who cares about inclusion, this book offers a powerful message: every child belongs in God’s family.
Plot Summary: A Journey Toward Belonging
When I Go to Church, I Belong is not a traditional narrative but rather a reflective, essay-style exploration of what it means for children with disabilities to find their place in faith communities. Evans weaves together personal anecdotes, biblical reflections, and practical advice to create a tapestry of hope and advocacy.
The book begins by acknowledging the isolation many families feel when their child doesn’t fit neatly into standard Sunday school structures. Evans shares her own struggles—moments of frustration, heartbreak, and unexpected grace—while also highlighting stories from other families. She doesn’t shy away from the hard questions: Why is the church often unprepared for neurodivergent or physically disabled children? How can congregations do better?
As the book progresses, Evans shifts from lament to action, offering tangible ways churches can become more inclusive. She emphasizes that belonging isn’t just about accessibility ramps or sensory-friendly spaces (though those matter) but about a fundamental shift in how we view all members of the body of Christ.
Character Analysis & Development: Real People, Real Stories
Since this is a nonfiction work, the “characters” are real individuals—Evans’ own family, fellow parents, and church members. What stands out is the authenticity of their portrayals. Evans doesn’t idealize or sanitize their experiences. Instead, she presents them with raw honesty:
- Evans’ Own Children: Her love for them is palpable, but so is her frustration with systems that fail them. She describes moments of joy (like her child finally feeling comfortable in worship) and pain (like being asked to leave a service because of disruptive behavior).
- Other Families: Through interviews and shared stories, Evans amplifies diverse voices—parents of children with autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, and more. Their collective experiences underscore that inclusion isn’t a niche issue but a universal calling.
- Church Leaders & Congregants: Evans doesn’t villainize well-meaning but unprepared church members. Instead, she challenges them (and us) to grow in compassion and understanding.
Writing Style & Narrative Technique: Gentle Yet Convicting
Evans’ prose is warm, lyrical, and deeply personal. She writes like a friend sitting across from you at a coffee shop, sharing her heart without pretense. Her background in literature (she holds an MFA in creative writing) shines through in her ability to craft vivid, emotional scenes.
One standout technique is her use of metaphor and biblical parallels. For example, she compares the church to a body (1 Corinthians 12), emphasizing that every member—no matter how “different”—is essential. This isn’t just theological commentary; it’s a call to action.
Her tone balances empathy and urgency. She acknowledges the challenges of creating inclusive spaces while insisting that the effort is nonnegotiable for a church that claims to follow Christ.
Thematic Exploration: Belonging, Disability, and the Gospel
At its core, When I Go to Church, I Belong is about radical inclusion. Evans digs into themes like:
- The Image of God in Every Child: She argues that children with disabilities aren’t problems to be solved but image-bearers to be celebrated.
- The Church’s Missed Opportunities: Many churches unintentionally exclude by clinging to rigid programs or viewing disability as a “special ministry” rather than a natural part of community.
- Parental Advocacy & Spiritual Survival: Parents of children with special needs often carry heavy burdens. Evans validates their struggles while offering hope.
One of the most powerful themes is the idea of “enough.” Evans writes:
“My child is not too much. The church is not too little. Together, we are exactly what God intended.”
This reframes the conversation from “How do we fix this child?” to “How do we fix our mindset?”
Personal Reading Experience: Why This Book Stayed With Me
As someone who has worked in ministry and seen firsthand the gaps in church inclusion, this book hit me hard. There were moments I cried—not just from sadness but from recognition. Evans articulates feelings I’ve heard from friends but couldn’t fully grasp until now.
One chapter, where she describes a Sunday when her child was finally welcomed without reservation, left me in tears. It’s a reminder that small acts of kindness (a volunteer who learns sign language, a teacher who adapts a lesson) can be life-changing.
Comparison to Other Works in the Genre
This book stands alongside works like:
- The Life We Never Expected by Andrew & Rachel Wilson (which deals with parenting children with special needs)
- Inclusive Discipleship by Lamar Hardwick (on disability and the church)
However, Evans’ book is unique in its focus on children and its blend of memoir and practical theology. It’s less academic than some disability theology books but more structured than a pure memoir.
Strengths & Minor Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Authenticity: Evans doesn’t sugarcoat her experiences.
- Practical Guidance: She offers real steps churches can take.
- Theological Depth: This isn’t just a parenting book; it’s a call to rethink how we “do church.”
Weaknesses:
- Limited Denominational Perspective: Evans writes from an evangelical context. Readers from other traditions might want more diverse examples.
- Desire for More Stories: While the personal anecdotes are powerful, I would’ve loved even more voices from different cultures and faith backgrounds.
Target Audience: Who Should Read This?
- Parents of children with special needs (you’ll feel seen).
- Church leaders & volunteers (this should be required reading for anyone in ministry).
- Educators & caregivers who want to understand faith-based inclusion.
- Anyone who cares about making the church a place where everyone belongs.
Memorable Quotes
- “Belonging isn’t about fitting in. It’s about being held, even when you don’t.”
- “The church is God’s house. Why would we lock the doors to His children?”
Final Thoughts: A Book That Could Change the Church
When I Go to Church, I Belong is more than a book—it’s a movement. Evans doesn’t just diagnose a problem; she offers a vision for something better. If every church leader read this, our communities would look radically different.
This is a book I’ll return to, recommend, and likely buy for friends. It’s that important.
🔗 Get the Book: Amazon
Discussion Questions for Readers:
- Have you or someone you know experienced exclusion in a faith community? How did it affect you?
- What’s one practical step your church could take to be more inclusive?
- How does Evans’ perspective change the way you view disability and belonging?
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
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